Heart on my Middle Finger

The older you get, the more thought you put into your purpose in life. I’m not trying to sound like a wise old woman here. *Spoiler Alert* I’m 23, and I have no idea what I’m doing in regard to basically everything. However, I’ve recently thought a lot about what my purpose really is. What am I really passionate about? What gets my blood boiling.

The answer to this is actually really funny to me.

I wouldn’t call myself a raging feminist. I think there are a lot of preconceived notions about the word “feminist” to begin with. In case you’re one of these people, I want to clarify that I do shave my legs and I wear a bra, don’t worry.

Getting back to the point, I never thought I’d be a feminist. I’ve always surrounded myself with my guy friends, I joke that I’m the son my dad has always wanted, and I think some women complain way too much.

However, I think that being this way has turned me into the feminist I am today.

My very first tattoo was a heart on my middle finger. I always got asked why I got that tattoo and if it’s a way to say “fuck love” to society. It’s totally not. I’m way more original than that. 

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I actually got this tattoo for two reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with being hurt by an ex, or whatever.

First, can you think of a sassier tattoo than a heart on your middle finger??? Didn’t think so.

Second, I wholeheartedly believe that a woman (and I guess a man, too) should never ever be defined by their relationship status. People often say that we have progressed from our notions in the past, however I think we are far from true advancement. Take the definition of success, for example. Although success is subjective, I think there are a few common measurements of success that people often think of for women. Usually it’s narrowed down to these few things:

  1. Being a good wife
  2. Having a family – usually traditional, with a husband and kids.
  3. Wealth
  4. Being a good mother

Here’s the problem with that. Almost all of these “measurements of success” fall on the idea of needing a someone to complete them. In order to be a good wife, you need to be married. In order to have a “perfect family”, you need to be married. In order to be a good mother, you need to have a family.

I’m in no way against marriage, families and motherhood. I’m actually obsessed with weddings, and I cry during all of them.

I am, however, completely against this idea that you need someone to be your own version of success.

This tattoo is a reminder for me to never feel like I need someone to be happy. In order for me to truly be happy, I need to be happy on my own. Happiness with another person in my life should be seen as a bonus on top, much like getting queso on a taco. Queso on a taco is fucking awesome, but it isn’t everything. (I know some of you will debate this.)

xoxo

 

 

 

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